A few years back, my husband and I were at a race with a large group of friends. While we were there, a loved one passed away and we needed to go directly from the race to the funeral.
As racing goes, we did not exactly have any appropriate attire with us, but two of my teeny tiny friends told me I could wear something of theirs.
Two different girls offer me clothes. Two girls that are rail thin. Perfect. Sounds like a brilliant plan. I will squeeze myself into their little sausage casing of an outfit and look ridiculous AND be uncomfortable AND be reminded once again that I am not the size I wish I was.
What an amazing plan. (Please note my sarcasm)
But, I really did not have a choice. We were not in a populated area so I couldn’t go buy clothes easily, nor did I want to go clothes shopping as it is my least favorite activity.
I said, “Do you really think I can wear your clothes?” They both looked at me like I was crazy and said, “yeah, we do.”
Huh. That was super puzzling to me, but I gave it try.
I put the clothes on and they fit perfectly. No squeezing in, no busting the buttons. They fit.
The Bad Script
I learned such a valuable lesson that day. I learned that I do not have a very accurate view of myself. My view and the reality are often not the same especially regarding my body image.
I run a bad script in my head.
It is faulty, yet I still let it run amuck.
We all have scripts in our head. Some are faulty and some are downright lies. Some of them come from us; some of them come from negative experiences in our lives, and some come from horrible words others have spewed onto our souls.
“You can’t do this.” “You are ugly.” “You are fat, you aren’t good enough, you always say the wrong thing, you aren’t loveable, you are worthless, dumb, and you will never amount to anything.”
I don’t care who you are, what you look like, what you have done, or the mistakes you have made. If those words are part of the script running through your head today, you need to know they are lies. Hear me on this. They are not true. Your script is bad. You need to change your script.
Do you know where my “fat” script came from? It came from 4th grade. 4th grade people!!!! I was overweight/pudgy at the time and a girl in 5th grade commented on how fat I looked in the jumper I was wearing.
I can still see my little face and feel my little heart break.
When I look at that little girl, I can totally write a new script…..for her, and so can you.
Change Your Script
What we know about ourselves in our minds is comfortable. It is our default script. We will always want to cling to it. I still have thoughts about how big I am or how what I ate yesterday has made me instantly fat today. It’s not logical, but that doesn’t mean it is not there.
How do you change your script?
- Hear the Good Things Your Friends Say About You: We ruminate over the bad things people say even if they were said 35 years ago. Hear the good things your friends say about you. They say you are beautiful and amazing and that they are so proud of you. Can you not just hear those things but really take them in? Too often, the gonging in our head, the gonging of all of our failures and all the mean words we have attached to them drown those words out.
- Write it Out: The bad script is etched in your mind. You are going to have to annihilate it, completely engulf it with new and better truth until it is no longer audible. Hear the good words and write them down. Memorize scripture or a quote that brings truth and light to your soul. Post it on your mirror, in your journal, put a card in your wallet, text it to a friend and ask them to text it back to you. Make it so prevalent, that you cannot escape it.
Is this just positive thinking? No, it’s not. We all have failings, but we all have gifts and beauty that far outweigh our failings. Yet we fixate on the bad instead of the good. Look at that little girl who somehow wrote the wrong script on her heart. If you can’t write it for your adult self, write it for that little girl.
Change Someone Else’s Script
- Once you write yourself a new script, write one for someone else and send it to him or her. We all need a little more help.
- Share this Post: How many people need to hear this? Millions.
- AND…furthermore, if you are comfortable, let’s help each other out. Post your new script or the script you sent to a friend in our Facebook feed.
Change your script and you will change your life……change someone else’s script and you will change their life. Words are so powerful, use them wisely today and every day not just for others, but for yourself.
Another resource for help on this topic:
What is up for next week on the Go Girl Blog? 5k and 1/2 marathon training plans. Get ready ladies….you can do this!